sweetkahi

havent updated in awhile. Not much going on I suppose. i am still keeping an eye out for a great new job, putting out some resumes but not really expecting to get anything back until Jan. Which is fine, cause i do want to get the refund for the tuition before hitting a new job. Would also be nice to see about getting the lasik. Not sure how that will work if I get the rebate from the health spending thing before i get it all paid off.

went to a new subs group last night. Some folks were mentioning that they are not sharing everything in their journal that their Sir reads. They actually said there were things that their partner doesn't need to know. I can't wrap my mind around how that would work. I mean i know that it takes a certain type of person to be able to read a journal and not take things totally personally. However, if you are writing a journal, why would you filter anything. I suppose i have been lucky in the fact that i have found folks who know that what i write is not really about them, but about how i am and how i see reality.

I suppose that there are folks who would want a journal for a particular person, and that has to be a journal that one focus' the intent and chooses words that reflect what that person wants, but that isn't transparancy, that me guessing at what you want, trying to find the words to make you happy, not me processing and sharing my life and thoughts.

Anyway, it was a nice evening of chatting with some new folks, but it again brought to mind the differences in a D/s relationship verses the M/s that i am seeking. Some of the concerns shared by the subs there weren't really anything i would worry about simply because it is not within my reality that they are problems. Hopefully i will be able to get into another meeting next month. We will see what the workload is on the new semester.
OOH; also got an A- in my mgmt class :)

Things better left undiscovered.

We got some information yesterday that one of our clients was arrested and someone was trying to get power of attorney on his account.

With some free time today, i googled the customers name and found out that he was arrested for paying for sex with an underaged girl.

That certainly falls under things i wish i could unlearn.

blick

So i have this thing that i started almost a year ago. I like to text friends a kinky thought of the day, a ktod if you will.
Thinks like handcuffs, or blowjobs, or floggers.. just a random kinky thought to make the day a little bit more fun.
Today, after sending a really good one I was getting some responses from friends. the coworker mentioned my use of texting while on the clock and was ribbing me a bit while he played on his phone.
a few minutes later i get a text on my phone from an unknown number reading; what are we going to do with you?
i figure its someone who forwarded my kotd to a friend and they were responding to my creative nature.
i wrote back 'i don't know but if you tell me who this is i will give you a better idea'
I get the text back saying it was my coworker!

glad i kept the response PGish :-)

Does anyone have good ideas for old pantyhose? I have been tearing mine like crazy. I did a google search for the uses but I wasn't impressed.


Also am interested in any chai recipes folks have. Making the tea, not using chai in a recipe. I am specifically looking for a version of Iraqi version. (don't read that DA!

Had my seminar tonight which worked out nicely. Got a few laughs, taught people some new things, got overtime, good night.

Finally settled on a B for my team project in the finance class. hopefully if i get an A on the final that will give me an A for the class. Need one more A in the mgmt class to get an A in that class as well.

Am getting new mortgage paperwork. If I understood the broker correctly i am down over 2 interest points. No points or orgination fees. Will be nice to get the cards paid down quicker than planned. Would still be nice to have gotten the house credit for a refi, but I don't get to make government fiscial policy... yet.

The mortgage means that I won't be getting the gym membership until Dec or Jan. But with the roommate, it should work easier to wait until then.

Where i am at:
Work
I applied for a promotion at work. It would put me in a different location which would be really nice to have a change. It depends alot on who else is applying. If nothing else i might be able to make the move laterally and still get the change of location.

school
Doing pretty good. Had my first case study which was a team project. i don't feel that i really pulled my own weight as my calculations were screwed up and i didn't have as much attention to give as i would have preferred. Thankfully i am wrapping up on the candle making so i am going to make the extra time homework time.

relationships
DA left on Sunday to do some contract work out east. We had a nice dinner and time together friday evening. i even have the christmas present working for him. i will have to share what it is as i think it is super cute.
Sir Micheal stopped by last week. I was nervous about seeing him, wondering where i was emotionally and what hidden expectations i had. However, it was actually nice. I didn't feel like he was expecting anything from me. I was able to assess where things were between us NOW instead of trying to think about how it was before. It was nice to sit down and talk with someone who can talk to my slave truth. He wasn't unkind but he wasn't sugarcoating where things were. It certainly helped me feel that i had a good grasp of where i am and what is going on. We may even get together in the future and just spend time together and play. We will see what happens.. As i say the universe has its own plans.
Nothing else on the horizons but btw everything i have going on thats ok with me

family
my step dad had a heart attack on Friday. He is in the hospital, ICU. Needs a pacemaker. I talked to a few folks and it sounds like this isn't a horrible diagnosis, but i don't think anyone knows what the side effects of his attack are. Oddly enough my mom did call and tell me about it. That was nice of her. My sister is keeping me in the loop with emails from our brother. I always figured that my mom would go first and that my stepdad would manage on without her. I worry about what happens if my dad passes away first.

Misc
I finally got to go to a halloween party as a Mad Cow. i was disappointed that the club hardly had anyone there though. Another group was having a party and most of the folks who usually attended the club were at the private party.
I am almost done with the first steps to fixing up the clarinet. Have the pads and the new cork on the instrument. Next comes the difficult part of trying to make sure all the pads are working properly.
We had lots of snow here recently. Made me start thinking about what to do with the dog during winter. Am thinking the bonus is going to go in part to the dog daycare again. Hopefully that will also help me get to the gym. At least twice a week.

Was a good weekend. Certainly feels like there is a change in the air for me.

Having a very restful weekend in some sense. Yesterday was grocery shopping and a SAW marathon. Really wish they had four and five on cable, but guess they aren't available yet. Was also resting up from a strain in my back from laying down some carpet tiles in the kitchen. I think it looks nice, though i can tell that i will be vacuuming more than i was sweeping. It should also greatly help with the insulation and heat retention for the coming winter. Was a fun project.

Also noticed that jack apparently re-torn the hole on his neck. Thankfully it doesn't look swollen or infected yet. I am trying to clean it with peroxide and then rubbing some tea tree oil on it, which i am sure is not a happy thing for him. He is also on house arrest which won't be fun for anyone, but has to be done.

Friday night DA took me to the Enclave. I got to drop off the ex's plant, so at least that is out of the house. I spent most of the age play night in the play room coloring and painting and playing with playdough. Thankfully he spent the time talking with some old people that he knew from before and seemed happy with the evening.

Sunday, today, was spent catching up with old friends and making new ones with the coffee group. Took the dog to the park and am now debating if i am going to make dinner or make candles or have cereal.

Classes are going well. I am excited about having my first case study. We have one person on the four person team who said they can't do the numbers till next weekend; which is weird but we will see.
Over 1/2 way done with this semester. Woohoo...

Cereal is looking like a winner; off to torture the cat.

have a nasty headache today. took the dog to the park and did some grocery shopping. Got home and took my meds; a little late in the day but that usually doesn't bother me. For some reason my headache just won't quit. i even took a nap but that didn't seem to help. *frown*

Had a greatish saturday. Got some cleaning done and DA came over and visited. We had yummy sushi at a local restaurant. DA say he is in love with me; which is very nice to hear. It doesn't change how i feel towards him nor how our relationship will run. Very sweet either way.
i am trying to decide how he fits into my life. On the 16th the Enclave is having a age play event and i think DA will love to attend. Hopefully he will be able to attend.


Saturday night my date for the enclave ended up having to work. i wanted to get out of the house so i told him i would be there till 11 in case he got off early. My tummy did a little flippy flops when i heard the ex was showing up. His crab of a girlfriend tried to engage me in conversation but i just won't bother putting up a front when i don't like someone who is willing to be manipulative and lie to get what she wants. (my tainted opinion)

I did a chance to ask him about the plant which i will bring to the club in the next week or so.

Been busy with classes. The current paper is on leadership. Thankfully i am only a page away from finishing and will do that tonight before heading over to a friends for games. Probably try to play Rock Star again!! Tomorrow is heading to the Enclave for a play night. Am feeling cranky cause some group has decided to do a private party that evening instead of supporting the Enclaves play party. Stupid dorks.. and yes, it doesn't help that one of them is the ex... who still hasn't picked up his damn plant two months later. I am planning on sticking that out in the garage next week if I don't hear from him.
Sunday i am taking my first finance test. For some reason this teacher doesn't have the test set up for a reminder on time. Seems like i am going to have to set up an alarm to remind me of the time so that i don't end up getting a big fat zero.

Saturday i will probably also get to see DA this weekend. Not sure what we are going to do; but its nice to be desired. I also have my first online order for my leather candles. Sweet

Tiger does not like the Native American flute playing. Apparently it is some sort of terrible cry of pain that requires he immediately come over and remove the flute from my lips and snuggle.

The other cat doesn't care and sheba decided it wasn't something she could chew on and lost interest.

It has been a very nice and quiet day. I woke up at 730 and headed out to the eye doctor. Contacts and eyes are doing fine, so I get to go back in a few days to get the boxes. Still thinking about lasik next year, but we will see.

Got home and started some homework. Still not sure i have the excel formula correct on the most recent assignment but at least its in. That makes my assignments complete until the first test. Hopefully it won't be too difficult, but we will see.

Finished the book report for the management class and next is the interviews. Im not looking forward to writing up that paper, but we have two weeks and it gives me an excuse to have dinner with friends.

At work we are getting ready for our annual goals. Not sure how to relate what we do at our level to what corporate wants to do, but what the heck.. give it the ole college try right. :)
Maybe i can get my boss to sign me up for an advanced position since i have a better idea of what i need to do for my school work.

DA and i talked earlier this week. He mentioned that i should let him know when i am free. I mentioned that i thought it depended on His schedule. Or more importantly, his SO's schedule. We didn't really get to confirm all of that, but i decided that what he was asking was when i was free, not when he would have time to visit. So i texted him that i was free on Sunday afternoon. Thankfully that worked out as a free time for him as well, so yeah!. I do have a 3YO birthday party to hit at 2pm but i am sure i can be home before too late.

i have noticed my clothes fitting kinda tight lately, so after finishing off the ice cream in my freezer i am trying to get back on some healthy balanced eating. Unfortunately, when i went to have a protein bar from Slim4Life on Friday morning, I think there was a bug in the bar. I broke off a piece and when i looked down there was a bug in the crumbs. I threw it away and had a hard time eating anything else during the day.
Today i made some nut and fruit snacks to have for breakfast and i think if I can remember to eat a protein and a veggie it will help.

Tonight i am going to be a brave lil girl and head to a semi friends house for cards with her and other new people. I need to swing by the toy store on the way and pick up glue and or play dough for the birthday party.

i put primer on the bathroom wall cause the condensation has been making water marks. Turns out that paint can go bad and it smelt horrid. Now i have to pick up some new paint if i can remember the paint name.

Finally got the kitchen done. Ended up painting over the wet spackle cause i just refused to wait for it to dry. At least at this point the messy parts are covered by the washer. I think the light blue paint looks really nice with the green.

Heres the end result.

Up at 9am. Took the dog to the park. Am still surprised when people say Hi to me.. guess my ponytail looked extra cute today.

Home and started doing the drywall. Actually tried to drill the big hole into the floor for the dryer vent. I can't figure out how the circle drill works. They are too short to go all the way through the floor. Couldn't get the zaw saw into the wall space to saw through the floor. The little saw i have is too weak and drilling through with a drill bit and hoping the floor would just fall off wasn't working. I spent about an hour fiddling with it and drilling holes like swiss cheese. finally i decided it was just too much and gave up.

Hell, its almost winter anyway and i can vent into the kitchen for warmth. Moved onto the drywall and had a disagreement with trying to get the pipes to fit through the drywall.. (its complicated). Decided to just leave a big hole in the wall. Got the last piece of drywall on the wall and noticed a bit of a leak.

Apparently i screwed into the large plastic water pipe. whee... the pipe has special connectors and i had to call the plumber to help. He was up in the area and was able to come by and patch up the pipe for me for 60 bucks cash. Not too bad for an emergency call. Thankfully it was the hot water pipe and i was able to turn off the water at the tank instead of having to crawl into the crawlspace.

Finally i got the wall back up. I have all the spackling done and sanding complete. I even got the primer up on the wall. Thankfully, i am going to have time to put the paint on the walls tomorrow after my meeting.

I am exhausted now, my back hurts so i am going to head off to bed and try to sleep.

apt 1. foot doctor foot healing nicely. bone still mending. nerve damage expected to clear up as healing continues. i have my doubts but we will see.

Apt 2. hair good new location. only cost 20 bucks. Hair cut a bit shorter than i wanted but figured it would grow nicely and i can wait longer to get it cut next time too

Apt 3. Car emissions. Passed. Again didn't have to go by to get the registration done but will have to do that tomorrow evening online.

Apt 4. Vet Sheba peed on herself when the vet tech took her in back to get heartworm testing and her shots. Got some heartworm meds and am waiting till tmwr to start giving them to her.

Apt 5. Lunch.. accidentally ordered shrimp cocount curry.. thankfully they gave me chicken without making it a big deal.. shrimp curry.. bleck

Apt 6. Eye doc Everything looks good. Got new contacts and will be back on the 19th to make sure they fit nicely and will continue to work. Am considering lasik for next year.. we will see

Apt 7. Shoes got some semi custom inserts and new cross trainers. Spent an hour with the sales person and got a visual of how my pressure is spread across both feet. I could really see how much i was compensating for the pain on the left foot. The total cost was 260 which was better than the doctors and i can put 150 towards some custom biomechanical inserts within 30 days.

apt 8. Zaw Saw my guest tomorrow couldn't get a saw so i drove down to a friends apt and borrowed his.

talked to DA on the way home. His SO didn't have anything to say about me. Just wanted to make sure she goes with him to the Enclave before he takes me. I get that though its hard to put it in words. Not sure when they will be able to get to the club, but we will see.

He is going to try to come over tomorrow night or thursday after work so we can talk abit more. Possibly discuss some formalities.

LONG day. Didn't sleep well last night due to a sinus headache.. Have my allergy meds tonight. DA called at 730 to check in to see if i got my DVD player working as i texted him and asked for help last night :)

Not looking forward to the dentist tomorrow but am looking forward to having the kitchen done. Hopefully the friend is more help than hindrance.

bbq's were good. Had a nice time at the community one; seeing folks that i haven't talked to in awhile and seeing how folks were doing. It seems a little smaller than last year but i suppose that can happen.
Headed over to DA's and meet his very attractive wife. Why someone thinks they need more than that is beyond me.. hehe

Anyway; i think it went well enough though she threw me for a loop by asking what i was looking for in a dominant. Well umm since i am courting yours doesn't that say something about what i am looking for.. Besides the fact that i have different goals for different time lines.. Which i shared. Not sure what type of answer she was asking for, but i hope she didn't feel uncomfortable. First time i have had to interview with someone who i wasn't involved with.

I didn't really get a chance to ask her many questions as by the time i was starting to feel a bit more comfortable she was getting a headache and had to lay down. I passed on my email via DA if she had more questions. She did make a point of letting us sit together and i got to snuggle a bit with his legs.. if that makes sense.

I got home and put some more plaster on the wall, had some dinner, got ready to do my homework and remembered my cd player didn't work. Thankfully i had someone online to help me get it up and running again. There are still some relation issues but that is pretty easy to solve later. At least now i can watch the interviews and write my reports.

I have the kitchen wall where i did the plaster sanded. we will see how much needs to be corrected tomorrow. Lots of fun appointments tomorrow but at least i found out today that the DMV is closed tomorrow due to state cut backs. That will save me some time, though i will have to pay more to register the car online.

well off to bed in my nice new fancy sheets. It's been a long day

Community bbq today. Woohoo... i am planning on staying just a few hours but it is one of those annual events and it makes me think about where i was last year. I know i was in a cast as I had to get someone to drive me there and back. Three surgeries later and I can take myself this year.

The move-out ex had his, and his roommates, house warming party this sunday. i indicated that i could probably come but never got the specifics about where and when. That hurt. I wouldn't have gone anyway, as it would have been awkward given the fact that i was closest to him and he and i aren't talking. But i was hoping we were at the point of pretending to be friendly. I wrote an email to him letting him know that i didn't get the address and wondering why i was still getting the silent treatment two months later. I called bs on his thought that it was just him and he was working through things because the rest of his life seems to be moving forward. Also reminded him about the drywall on wed.

I don't except to hear from him or to see him on that day. At some point i will probably move the one plant that he left in my house out to the garage where it will slowly die from dehydration. I am bad enough at trying to remember to water the damn thing once a week as it is. I know that at some point i am going to forget and it will get past the point of no return... (ominous music)

On brighter news, the kitchen is coming along nicely. i need to get some drywall mud from the store today. Apparently large sections of the exposed drywall guts require mud and not spackle. Though I think i did a good job of spreading the Spackle. Next time i will try to remember to google first and shop second.

Also later today i have a bbq at DA's house to meet his SO. Hopefully it will be a nice visit and i am not expecting anything too terrible. The hardest will be waiting a day or two while they talk and decide what her comfort level is. Thankfully with my tenderized heart I am not looking to fall in love or to have someone around all the time, so this may be just what the doctor ordered.

Well off to the big bad world.. don't worry, i have my sunscreen.

Damnit!!!
Found out today that the foot doctor hadn't actually called to check on the orthopedics until TODAY. One week before i am supposed to go in and get them. Apparently they are not covered by the insurance...
Cause really spending 500 bucks on inserts that keep you from breaking your bones just would make too much freaking sense. So i can BUY them from the doctors if i just happen to have another 500 bucks sitting around the house. dorks.

I am going to go to good feet or runners roost or some other retail store where i don't have to deal with stupid doctors and see what they charge to get the inserts. Just can't believe the doctors didn't bother to see if the solution was actually something that the insurance would cover when they thought of it first.

Bah I say Bah

Got some work done on my management paper. Feeling good about the way it is shaping up but i want to have it done by Wednesday and i still have two more sections to finish up. The final section is legacy. I am guessing i can't get away with saying I wanted to leave a nice corpse and have the most toys.

I am a week ahead in my finance class but am still working on my excel sheet and want to keep ahead of the curve so i can goof off later.

Saturday i am planning on going to the Taste of Colorado. Sunday I will try to tear out part of my kitchen wall and hopefully won't find anything dead or burnt. Monday is the community bbq and maybe getting to meet DA's family. Tuesday i have the foot appointment, the dog has her shots, i want to get my hair cut and my eyes checked so i can get more contracts. I also need to get the car emissions checked and the car registered. Wed morning I have a dentist apt at 9 and then dry walling done that afternoon.

Busy working vacation

Bedtime

Got to have dinner and movies with the girls. It was really nice to sit down and have dinner with my friends and i am looking forward making it a bimonthly deal.
The movie, julie and julia was ok; i thought the stories were superficial and only semi related. It was difficult to feel strongly about any of the characters because they were all presented one dimensionally. There were some good parts and it was still nice to spend the night out.

On the way home, i took I25 and was thinking about my ex and him driving my car home from his work. It was very hard for me not to start remembering and thinking about things. I almost stopped by the club to see if he was there. I decided against that and just headed home. Had a small breakdown at the house, trying to decide if i wanted to contact him. Wrote and deleted the email and embraced the pain as part of the process. Still know that i am not getting back together with him and i am ok with that, but the process of letting go and forgiving the lies is still taking its time.

On the bright side the second date with DA went well. He was 28 minutes late to the restaurant. After he was 15 minutes late i deleted his number from my phone and ordered my breakfast. Certainly wasn't the first time i had been stood up, so i wasn't going to pass on my breakfast. Thankfully he did show up, even if it was late. Apparently the short cut he took wasn't a short cut. :)
We had breakfast and then came back to my house. Talked about the pets for a little and then i showed him my toybag. Talked about processing pain and what i saw the difference between being a sub/bottom/and slave when it came to play. We talked about what is next and at this point we are going to give things a few weeks. I know he wants me to meet his SO and give us a chance to play and see what things connect for us on that level.

I invited him to the MAsT meetings, as he likes alot of theory and i think he may get something out of the group even if we don't have a relationship. He asked if there was something i really enjoyed that i wanted to do. I am sure you can guess what was the only thing on my mind. Thankfully he was ok with that as well. For the next couple of hours we talked work, pets and relationships while laying on my bed and touching.

Tonight i am heading over to a friends for dinner and i need to start on some homework before i head out.

MBA classes started on Sunday. I had gotten the syllabus from the teachers earlier that week. I hadn't bothered actually trying to do any of the assignments until Sunday. My management class is a little 'huggy' (to borrow a word from a friend)
the first assignment is about how balanced my life is, what my priorities are and should be, and coming up with goals to work on during the semester. As i have spent the decade of my life improving myself and learning how to make positive changes, it is weird to try to put my mind around using these concepts in a management class. I am also concerned about how well it will go over by me stating how well balanced i am and how i don't really have that many goals i am needing to work on. Thankfully i still have my tri stuff to focus on.
I am feeling pretty good about the breakup. I cleaned out his stuff in the house and its out in the garage so he can come pick it up without having to make arrangements with me. It kinda frees me up from having to wait around and wonder when he will be coming over.
Speaking of him, i had a tech mud in the face moment. I was looking for Sir Michaels number and looked at last months statement instead of last years. I ended up txting the ex instead of Sir Michael. I really wanted a hole to crawl into but at least i figured out why some stranger would call me 'dear'
Had a nice dinner on Saturday and meet DA. He had already eaten but was kind enough to sit with me while i got some protein in my system. Hopefully the second date is this weekend, and i am hoping to actually put on some makeup for it.

Saturday i am looking forward to a girls night out. Dinner, Julie and Julia movie, and dancing. Not sure i will be up for dancing but at least dinner and the movie are certain for me. Really looking forward to the time with the girls to decompress. Though i am disappointed that not everyone is going to be able to make it.

Its still pretty difficult for me to find my own schedule. I am still working myself and reminding myself that I am not the reason the previous relationship is over. That i was wonderful before and am still wonderful now. The only person his behavior reflects on is him. WE got to talk a little and i was reassured of this, which is helping. He said is just going through stuff and he needs the space and time. Wouldn't be that hard except that i see he has time to find new interests. Now i have to move on to the fact that even giving him time he is still being an ass and i need to stay away from people who are going to treat me poorly.
Of course now if i didn't have to see him every week it would help. Thankfully this is the last week before school starts and i get something to continue to distract myself.

pictures of my kitty Tiger and my Doggie Sheba made with my new fancy smancy digital camera: :)